Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense!

The Pontiac Silverdome hosted Superbowl XVI between the Cincinnati Bengals and the San Francisco 49ers. Yeah, guess who won this one? Well, the final score was 26-21, and the MVP was Joe Montana.

Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd was arrested back in November for making phone threats on an ex-girlfriend. If anyone knows where he his, both the Brockton Rox and I would appreciate an update. They have a pitching rotation to fill, and I'm thinking about buying season tickets to the Rox.

Is there anything more confusing than the weight classes in boxing? There are no fewer than 15 different classes, according to the major boxing organizations. (By the way, is there anything more annoying than the fact that there are something like 457 different organizations that control boxing? Didn't the World Series start like this? The American and National leagues wanted no part of each other, until the owners realized they could make a more money by having the champion of each play one "championship" series. Wouldn't that work with boxing? Does that happen in boxing already?)

The constitutional amendments are pretty funny, especially between 18 and 21. (The proper way to denote that may be with Roman numerals, but whatever.) Amendment 18 started prohibition in 1920 (ratified in 1919), then a year and a half later, 19 gave women the right to vote. (And let's be honest. These two events are connected. Men couldn't run to the bar whenever their wives (or mistresses or daughters) started harping on them for equal rights. They had to listen, and had to make them happy.) Then, in 1933, everyone realized how crazy sobriety can be, and they got rid of prohibition with the 21st Amendment. (I, of course, am only partially kidding. I know the proper way to denote an amendment is with Roman numerals. I just don't care.)

Senator Edward M "Ted" Kennedy was born February 22, 1932, meaning he's almost 74. He was first elected to the senate in 1962, to finish the term of his brother, John (who, you may have heard, or even remember, was elected president in 1960, while serving as a senator from Massachusetts). Since then, he's been elected to seven full terms. He also swims laps in a pool with goggles, flippers and maybe even a snorkel. I may be inventing that last detail.

And remember, it's not one time monkey want wife.